LOVING PARENTS DON’T SPARE THE ROD:

Why spanking is good

Some Christians reject the “spare not the rod” stuff in Proverbs because “it’s an Old Testament thing” that “shouldn’t apply today”. This ill-thought-out argument ignores the fact that Psalms and Proverbs are full of important principles that should not be ignored in any era. (More about this “Old Testament thing” below.)

Other people ignore almost everything in the Old and New Testaments because theology has taught them the word of God no longer exists (as defined by God – inspired and inerrant), and therefore it’s up to us to go to the tree of the knowledge of good and evil in a disobedient attempt to acquire the knowledge of good and evil. (Click HERE if you don’t know why God ordered us not to acquire the knowledge of good and evil.)

But the Living Word of the Living God does exist. And He commands us to spank our children. Why would He do that? What does He know that modern society has chosen to ignore?

When children are born they have no proper Biblical framework upon which to base their lives. All they have is the carnal old man’s Self…as in I want and I like. In other words they are full of covetousness, which is always a sin because it is rebellion against God’s authority, prerogatives, and will – and is therefore called idolatry in Col 3:5 because it puts the god of Self (what I want) ahead of the written will of God. That was why Lucifer rebelled against God, and is why covetousness, idolatry, and rebellion are witchcraft.  Witchcraft is simply rebellion against God’s authority and God’s will – compare Col 3:5 with 1 Sam 15:23. (For a more in-depth treatment of the fundamental sin of covetousness, click HERE.)

That’s why children are so willful; all they really know is what they want. And when parents try to teach them what God requires and what the parents require and what the laws and rules of society require, the children are too undisciplined to be obedient. Obedience is defined as “submission (opposite of rebellion) to authority (in context this authority is other than self).” But children do understand pain…and they don’t like it.

When children are young they lack self-discipline, and are overtly willful, so they rebel against authority by expressing their will/covetousness by clamoring. Clamoring is bitching, whining, complaining, murmuring, protesting, and expressing personal desires and/or dissatisfaction. (To verify the definition consult any dictionary; to verify that clamoring is a sin read Eph 4:31.) Why is clamoring a sin? Apply it to God and it becomes clear: If God expressed His will or told you to do something, would it be right for you to complain/clamor that you not only wanted something else, but you wanted God to submit to your will? Of course not.

So how do willful children (who have no self-discipline) become disciplined enough to obediently submit to despised authority? Simple, their parents impose external discipline (such as spankings) until their children are able to successfully internalize their parents’ discipline…which is then called self-discipline. That’s why Heb 5:8 says Christ learned obedience by the things which he suffered.

That’s why the Bible says sparing the rod will spoil the child. Spoil means to impair someone’s character by permitting or promoting self-indulgence. The reason self-indulgence is so bad in children is childhood constitutes our main formative years. The reason the Lord says “Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” has to do with verses like Deut 21:18-21 which says stubborn and rebellious children who are deemed incorrigible by the parents are to be tried and executed. Now, this passage has more to it than might first meet the eye: Notice the parents did properly chasten their child, just like God the Father and Adam properly chastened their children – but God’s son, Lucifer, was incorrigible; and Adam’s boy, Cain, was too. So some children are just evil and won’t subdue their self-centered willfulness no matter what; but the rod of correction does help good children (those willing to submit and repent) to mature properly during their formative years…and when they’re old they won’t depart from it.

Obviously this subject of willfulness vs. submission and obedience vs. rebellion has to do with a lot more than just children, and Rom 13:1,2 (which deals with our relationship with our governmental rulers and is consistent with what we’ve discussed here) is just the tip of the iceberg: Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

Christians who don’t spank their children because they think spanking was an “Old Testament thing” lack consistency and understanding. If they were consistent they wouldn’t ignore the New Testament’s 1 Cor 7, which says most New Testament Christians should be like Paul was – unmarried. The only NT Christians who should marry are 1) those who can’t contain themselves from sex sins (1 Cor 7:8,9), and 2) preachers (1 Tim 3:2,4,5). That’s why the verses about spanking children aren’t in the NT; if they were it would dilute the message of 1 Cor 7 because in order to spank your children you’ve got to have children…which means you’d have to marry – which we’re advised not to do. That’s also one reason the OT’s Old Commission (be fruitful and multiply, i.e. have children) has been replaced by the NT’s Great Commission; the Great Commission can be fulfilled without having to bear children. In other words, having spanking in the OT but not in the NT makes perfect sense if you understand the whole Bible. The literal application in the OT applied to everybody because back then the Old Commission required having children. But today only the few Christians who have to marry and have kids need to apply the principles and reasons behind spanking to the rearing of their offspring.

As Christians we should understand that self-indulgence and clamoring are part of the idolatry, rebellion, witchcraft, and sin of covetousness. (Click COVETOUSNESS.) And Christian parents who spare the rod are in direct and sinful rebellion against our Heavenly Father.

SELECTED VERSES

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Proverbs 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place: And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Exodus 21:15 And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

Exodus 21:17 And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.